Acribic artprocess, artist perspectives

Artist, Künstler SEAK Claus Winkler. Describing my artprocess:
Sometimes i wear the same clothes for week. The colors, little color drips on the a cloth can/ does influence my decisions like the clothings parts main color. I do mean those drips which happened by real coincidence, not clothing color drips/ stains which are placed with in a certain color combo, with in a certain ‚ unplanned ‚ form, at a certain place at the clothes, to trigger/ prime/ steer the others decisions. Different brushes, a different audiobook, listening music/ audiobooks from different headphones, eating a certain food, or spike/ thought/ listened a different word can change the way i make decision while painting. All of times the things, colors, forms, around what I paint does influence me. There is a conotation with in the interpretation from my name with in German, which is like, i obey your command, i follow your lead, I do it like you showed me with how showed me with in the details the bodylanguage the signaling, I pick it up doing like you suggested me without giving something back with great motivation, I steal the idea from you make it myself easy and win. So when painting, I often, bite/ steal/ get inspired by my self, cause there are everywhere paintings from me standing around. My main agenda, rule, painting everyday as much time as possible.
A lot of times Iam painting stylised vulva‘s, the female organs, in a coded, graphic, symbolized form with my paintings. Making sure people are continuing there lineage. When being in social gatherings itend to anchor, and redirect sexual trigger signaling from guys, on to the present females. I assume my paintings are doing the same, connecting man with woman.

What I like about myself, my work, my art, is:
I never studied at an art academy, I don’t have any formal crafts work education ether. Iam overweight. I was a regular customer with in brothels alround the world, I expiermented sexuality with all known/ unknown genders. ( women are enough). I have right wing, liberal, all political tendencies. My heritage, my forfathers/ mothers are from Lithuania, The Uk, Austria, Hunsrück, Eastprussia, the Ruhrarea, Cologne, etc. Iam painting my art myself. I have bad grammatical skillz, and cultivation. I just have the cultural award from my home town. That I was famous, with a lot of followers in the pre internet time, and beginning internet time, and that now all the the other artists are having breakthroughs, rocking the field being Uber famous by mid/ late 1990s standards. That Iam just interested with in face 9s / 10s women. That I have a bad handwriting. That I never did a lot of trains. That Iam masturbating slot instead of having a not beautiful women. That I did talk to much in the past all the time about communication, in general. That I love my haters, if they are any, they probably are. That I love being alone. That I love not having a galleriest. ( Iam catering her to what people are thinking). That i love that my piece 13cm maybe 14 cm/s long. That it is harder when Iam attracted by the woman. That I will although have multiple woman with a monogam relationship. That I look often unfriendly ( not unhappy ), to keep bi’s/ gays/ or better formulated guys with too much love/ light at bay, protecting myself from intimacy. That I don’t f around with the girlfriends/ wife’s/ from the other people although the meanings with in my name ‘ Claus ‘ do suggests. That I bake thotery with my work. That i have no social life.

Hm what do like else about myself, my art?:
That I have no hype anymore like I had in the late 90s/ beginning 2000er years. That I can’t really paint. That when ever i felt being in danger, I relay to things which can be used to weapons, then just trusting my fists if things get out of hand. That i did circa 2 years of substance abuse. That Iam from a German middle class background, from a small town kinda village town. That I have a problem with eating too much, and moving too less.
That if never cook tested the blow during my 2 substance abuse years & that maybe is a lack in street credibility, due i liquid tested it. That I can’t drink beer, cause it has too much calories. That I have no design, photoshop, or digital drawing skillz. That I painted the paper/ cardboard paintings the last 10 years with in style, in a way that most artists don’t like. That l wear al lot of the clothes Iam wearing since 20 years. That i avoid other guys who want to flex, are interested in sexsame, wanting me doing something with there wife’s/ girlfriend/ daughters wanting to compare themselfs, doesn’t bring any value.
That I despice religion, make fun of religion. That Iam challenged that i always communicate with my art, with the meanings with in my name ( the words with in the words) sexual liberty free of limitations/ structure/ tolerance/ etc, while structuring myself with in the very opposite, with in a Redpill ‘ alpha ‘ male mindset/ value mindset. That I have bad teeth. That I weight circa 30 kilo too much body fat/ body weight. That Iam working at too much small paintings here since 2010. That I have always painted al lot the same forms. That Iam work in the house of my grandparents. That the garden looks bad. That i rarely clean the house.